bullyfreeME ~ Part 3
Written by: Scott Graham
kids4kidsleadership.com
The Tattletale Syndrome
We have discussed why children bully and what to do about it in my last two columns. These strategies are available in my Heroes of Hope book available at my web store. It is now time to talk about how children can become part of the bullyfreeME solution.
Children often tell me that when they tell on a bully they are often accused of being a tattletale. This discourages children and often leaves them feeling helpless. It is important for children to understand the difference between tattling and being assertive. A child who is a “tattletale” tells on other children with the sole purpose of getting people in trouble. The attention the child receives from this behaviour is their reward. Being “assertive” is telling with the purpose of getting someone out of trouble. If, for example, a friend is being bullied, it is important to assert yourself and tell, so that your friend will be helped and led away from trouble. If you are being bullied and have delivered the appropriate anti-bullying strategies, you need to tell. By telling you are not just helping yourself, but helping all the other children who are being affected. You may even help the bully realize that their behaviour is inappropriate and steer them onto the right road.
What if you tell and your requests are dismissed? This is a common question from children. They are afraid that they will tell on the bully and not be helped. Now the bully is really angry and the child’s problem is worse. This is why many older children will never tell. They are not confident that their problem will be solved.
Why you should tell and keep on telling? Children need to realize the importance of telling a trusted adult of a bullying situation that is affecting them or someone they know. I have known five children in the time I have been running my Kids 4 Kids Leadership Programs that have ended their life due to the affects of bullying. If only someone stepped up to help these individuals might their situation have had a different outcome.
If a child tells and does not receive an appropriate solution they must keep on telling until a solution is found. By telling they are helping stop the bully from not only bullying one individual, but hopefully many more.
We must stand together, get involved and help anyone who may need our help and not be afraid of telling. Helping involves 1) teaching the strategies you know to the individuals who are getting bullied 2) Allowing the individuals being bullied to play with you and your friends and 3) telling a trusted adult about what is going on. We are strong when we work together and support each other. If we all stand up to bullying, bullies will be forced to relinquish their power. We must stand together for this to happen and be persistent in our search for solutions. In my next article I will be discussing anger management techniques.
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