A Bully Free World Part 1

bullyfreeME ~ Part 1
Written by: Scott Graham
kids4kidsleadership.com

"Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never harm you," is a phrase that has been passed on from generation to generation. Children are led to believe that words don’t hurt, but in reality they do. The effects of words can have a profound affect on a person’s life.

To help children deal with the taunts of a bully we often tell children to either walk away, ignore the words or tell a teacher. These are all good strategies, but children need more. What happens if a bully follows you, or if you cannot ignore what the bully is saying.

As a youth I was often the target of bullying.There were many things I was teased about, most of which I could ignore. It wasn’t until the bully found out that I couldn’t read and write that the bully had any lasting affect on me.

I was in grade 7 and very sensitive about my learning disability and attention deficit disorder. It was my little secret. Well, the bully found out my secret and realized that if he made fun of the fact that I couldn’t read and write, he would be able to get me to react and believe his lies. The word he used to taunt me was, “dumb.” The funny thing was that he didn’t have to call me dumb. I was already using the word myself. This word that was not suppose to hurt was destroying me. But, I was determined not to allow the bully to win. I first found out everything I could about my learning disability and my ADHD. I found out that there were alot of famous and successful people with the same diagnosis. This gave me hope. I realized it was what you did with what you got that made the difference. I worked really hard at improving my ability to read and write. It wasn’t easy, but worth it. After a few years I became a really good reader. This led me to becoming a storyteller. I developed a real love for storytelling so I decided to write my own stories. Years later I become a bestselling author. I wrote not only books, but a script for a television show and songs I later recorded with Kenny MacLean of the rock group Platinim Blonde.

We need to teach children strategies that will help them retain their self esteem and build their confidence.

The key strategies to help children retain their self esteem and build confidence are:

1) provide opportunities that will lead to success.
2) self understanding of a label they have attached themselves to.
3) an understanding of why children bully. It's not because there is
something wrong with you. It could be that there is something right with you.
4) teach children how to be assertive and avoid the stock answers.
In the next issue we will discuss the anti bullying strategies that help children deal with bullying situations.